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The work in therapy allowed these feelings to come to the surface and allowed the hurt partner to feel empathy for their spouse, thus making them feel closer and more open to sharing in the future.
I try to balance the information I think the hurt partner has a right to know and what I think may be hurtful to know in the long run.
Almost everything that has been written about forgiveness tells the hurt partner to forgive.
Those first few weeks and months seem crazy to the hurt partner as they try to piece together their life, which is usually in shambles.
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I ask hurt partners to save their questions to ask in a couples' session so I can slowly unwrap the meaning of the question and give my expertise on whether I think the answer to the question will be helpful or hurtful in the long run.
Sex addiction hurts partners in a way that no other addiction can, says Paula Hall, who has written a book on the subject.
Hall believes these partners need help of their own – hence her book, which is essentially a self-help guide, covering three broad areas: understanding sex addiction and why it hurts partners so much; repairing the damage it has caused to the partner; and finally, helping the partner to work out whether the relationship can survive and, either way, how to move forward.
You hurt your partner, and thus your partner deserves your apology, even if you will eventually decide to go separate ways.
"To help their partner's ego, to not hurt their partner's feelings, to end sex so that they can go to sleep or go home".
People who want to save a marriage, for example, must let go of the desire to hurt a partner the way they think the partner has hurt them and instead make a gesture of reconciliation.
Will this hurt my partner?
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com