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The moment you hear the words "Hey, we're over the hump," you are about to hit the first one.
If anyone wants to visit, he's welcome to — we can just hang out and play fetch, and I won't hump you or force you to bring me to scientists to help to turn me back into a human or anything.
Here's something about me that could be construed as a bell-ringer: instead of engaging in the small talk that always bogs down a first date, I like to kick the evening off by saying, "Hey, would you like to hump?" You can practically see the alarm bells on some women's faces when I say this.
If you've seen me, great, and if you want to talk about something, brilliant, but I'm not going to come in and say, 'Did you see me on this, what did you think?' That's just not in my nature... Oh my God! Look at that, he's trying to hump you!" His voice rises a couple of notches in shock.
Once you've made the album that everyone agrees captures you at the absolute zenith of your powers, once you've basked in the critical plaudits, public glory and sudden increase in the number and quality of people who want to hump you into the middle of next week, there is, as Phillip Larkin once noted of the Beatles' career trajectory, "nowhere to go but down".
Security Hump: You can't be doing that here.
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I'm referring to the person in your life who's gotten you this far, the one who's carried you over the hump when you thought you couldn't do it and wanted to wimp out.
There are certain humps you have to get over before you start feeling better and can think about skating again.
One hump, dromedary; two humps, camel; three humps, you're drunk.
If they couldn't forage, hunt, fight off enemies and keep the blood line going through some good, old-fashioned humping, you wouldn't even be here right now.
I promise to give all the humps you can get And never ever let the Puss-Puss get too wetty-wet... On Valentine's Day my Dicky-dick can never get too red And I'm sorry there were no rose petals on the bed.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com