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I didn't actually have a pony, but quite enjoyed the intoxicating cachet of the local pony club, where horsey girls with names like Muffie and Harriet would send me out into the field to pick up their horses' shit.
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I remember one time when I walked into the newsroom at BBC Look East and my colleague told me I had to cover a story about police horses shitting everywhere and causing chaos in a village.
Cold and wet and new smells, chicken shit, cow shit, horse shit, goat shit.
The problem was that the tickets were like the proverbial rocking horse shit.
UPDATE: Here's Mistr Justin to explain: "Pomme de route," he writes, "is Quebecoise slang for horse shit".
I was going to say horse shit but I don't know if I can say that on TV.
His party was in deep trouble in the north-west where, in the words of Liverpool's mayor, Joe Anderson, "Tories are as rare as rocking-horse shit".
He was here to walk Dottore Silvestri through the terms of the award, not show off his talent for smelling horse shit.
I used to skateboard down the hill, slaloming around piles of horse shit from the horse-drawn carriages, which we would then hold onto for the ride back up.
His book, he says, is 'a counterblast to the enormous amount of literature on men which is 'just gas, just horse shit'.
It turned out that not only was horse shit the main thing, besides worms, that B&B had to offer in the marketplace; it was, figuratively speaking, what Bradley had been peddling for a long while.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com