Simpson went soon afterwards, attempting to heave leg-spinner Scott Borthwick over mid-wicket, but the target for Durham had swelled to 130 when it might easily have been 60.
The aesthetic was as far as could be imagined from the sex-pot, breast-heaving, leg-exposing outfits of the bunga bunga world of Silvio Berlusconi, the politician and media tycoon who has served three times as prime minister.
Ravichandran Ashwin, the tall off-spinner who was recalled after being rested against England, was launched for Watson's first two sixes in the fifth over, both heaved to leg.
Cook, who has only one ODI half-century since the summer of 2013, drove sweetly down the ground, while Moeen's mix of languid lofts over the off-side fence and powerful heaves to leg brought him five sixes in his 58.
Only a last-wicket stand of 26 by captain Jason Holder and Sulieman Benn prevented the humiliation of being bowled out for less than 100, although having made 18 from 19 balls, last man Benn was stumped attempting a tail-end heave at leg-spinner Tahir.
My water bottle sat on the metal bleachers, and after each lap, chest heaving and legs aching, I took a long drag.
They rocketed up on relevé and stayed there, sank into deep, earthy squats, heaved their legs up to midnight, dropped and rotated their shoulders like boxers preparing for a street fight.
Sarfraz, at the top of the order in place of Nasir Jamshed, took the fight to South Africa by heaving three leg-side sixes from one Duminy over.
Nehra charges in, and Peterson inside edges a heave to fine leg for four!
Prior looks to break the shackles with a big heave into the leg side but he only picks up a single for his trouble.
He launches into an ambitions cross-batted heave through the leg side and when he misses, Samuels hits; the Aussie is clean bowled for 16 and the West Indies have struck gold with their early bowling change.
