By getting out before a miserable showing in the South Carolina primary and the exodus of an additional candidate or two, he guaranteed himself more news coverage and a greater air of importance than he might have received afterward.
By announcing his return to politics on the Sunday evening after July 4th, one of the quietest news days of the year, he guaranteed himself a burst of publicity.
He guaranteed himself and Swedish tennis a maximum jolt of attention by ending Rafael Nadal's 31-match winning streak at Roland Garros and then proved it was not some cosmic coincidence by beating Nikolay Davdenko convincingly in the quarterfinals, too.
One City worker was snapped sitting in a tiny broom cupboard on the Ipswich train last week; he said it was the only place he could guarantee himself a seat, albeit one surrounded by mops.
Bayonne's Top 14 relegation is complicating the centre's move to France; if he wants to guarantee himself an exciting future he should give Bath a call instead.
O'Connor on a moment of unintentional slapstick, when Mark Sanchez inexplicably hurtled headfirst into Brandon Moore's backside and fumbled: "As he planted his hands and facemask into the MetLife turf, Sanchez knew he'd guaranteed himself a permanent place in a century's worth of blooper reels".
He has guaranteed himself £34,000 for his efforts so far - three times what he earned in the whole of 2012 and enough to buy more than a few good nights out in his native Solihull.
In avoiding an initial political migraine of enraging those who hated him even more, he had guaranteed himself a headache that is surely set to recur again and again.
What he has not done is to find the magic pill that would guarantee himself another season on the air.
By serving as Ronald Reagan's vice president and visiting Poland in 1987, Bush guaranteed himself the welcome he is getting.
Evans has guaranteed himself £60,000 for reaching the third round of a Grand Slam for the first time, and he will next face Spanish 19th seed Tommy Robredo.
