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So you've got painful home truths coming out while people dressed up like Benny Hill are having custard-pie fights.
On Thursday, Friday and Saturday, they have custard tarts, too.
Stephen's tie is pale blue, made of silk and has custard down it from knot to tip.
"Well, I've had custard that's transformed into scrambled egg and once I tried to do a curry that was so hot it was like drinking a bottle of tabasco – just impossible to eat.
Family parties, ditto, because the last time Pa had to pay for everyone, they were lucky to get a pound note, and Ma likes a substitution or two ("Could I have the turkey, but with the gravy on the side and broccoli instead of sprouts, and don't you have custard?"); she also vibrates with tension if there's a gap of more than three minutes between courses.
The large fruit have custard-like flesh with easy-to-remove seeds and hints of banana, mango and cantaloupe.
But even for those who make the effort, reading a book rich with subtle and unfamiliar ideas is a bit like having a custard pie thrown at you: the few bits that stick may not resemble the original very closely.
You should now have perfect custard.
God, as the 1960s film "Georgy Girl" explained, always has a custard pie up his sleeve.
"And if he was sick, he wasn't allowed to have his custard afterwards.
11.19pm GMT The last donut I ate didn't actually have any custard in.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com