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Am I? Nigel Farage rolled into the village, selling his snake oil ointment, guaranteed to cure all ills.
No problem in fine weather, but guaranteed to cure your constipation when things get 'exciting' - the term used by Stewart Robertson, our captain, revealing a Queeg-like glimmer in his eye, to describe the kind of weather he clearly enjoys most of all, ie gales and storms.
At Christmas and Easter break, or whenever else there are enough children at the resort to make it worthwhile, the chef offers a children's dinner buffet guaranteed to cure even the most severe case of McDonald's withdrawal: hamburgers, pizza, chicken nuggets, ice cream sundaes and a delectable macaroni and cheese.
And the remedy isn't guaranteed to cure you.
The good news: There is a time-tested 100percentt guaranteed way to cure ego spending.
To cure you".
That was easy to cure.
Hospitals exist to cure people.
You'd like to cure.
Was it to cure cancer?
I wanted to cure leprosy".
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com