Its black mane and forelock are mussed, an orange bridle tugs at its glossy white teeth, and one sinewy foreleg is kicked up high.
When the Miss America contestants walk out onto the stage this Saturday night, we imagine they'll look just about perfect: gleaming teeth, glossy hair, flawless skin, the whole nine yards.
But, dressed up in clothes that look as if they had been distressed for sale in a TriBeCa boutique, her white, white teeth shining and glossy hair swinging, she is flatly absurd.
And he's dead right - he won't be properly glossy (apart from the teeth) until 21st Century Fox has got its paws on him.
Previously, the trend had been for waifish, fragile girls, but after the recession, there was a move to a more 'bourgeois' look; magazines and designers changed tack and sought out symmetrical faces, perfect teeth and big, glossy manes.
The company pledged that some other way of selling its shampoos would be found to replace the "spin and grin" of improbably glossy hair and impossibly white teeth; men would no longer be induced to buy deodorant on the basis of its appeal to women.
It's hardly credible that Cuddy who has the straight teeth, clear skin and glossy hair of a 21st-century movie star would be deemed as "plain as an old tin pail", or that she wouldn't be able to persuade anyone to marry her.
But, just as his big lips went glossy and he was baring his shovel teeth, she said, "I like to play pool, though.
In an industry that seemed to fence out black talent as consistently as baseball once did, Vibe gave young journalists of all stripes a glossy, full-format magazine to sink their teeth into.
Cherry red glossy lips give off the illusion that your teeth are whiter.
