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"Top Ten Kitchen Buys as Your Youngling Flees the Nest!" And you remember those trips to IKEA, and the fact that you bought a fucking ironing board with you in your first year; and you remember being given a student cookbook and a leaflet about safe drug use; and you remember all those blueberry-flavoured condoms they used to hand out, and you weep.
And go hacking away with a fucking tire iron.
Let's just open with a fucking cold, iron fact: "Bennie and the Jets" is, with ease, one of the top ten songs of all time.
I don't mind my hair being curled or straightened with a burning fucking hot iron, but there's nothing worse than teased hair.
"Fucking fuck".
Fucking is fucking.
Nowadays everyone irons the fucking air, it's all about technology.
The vampires have promised her eternal life, but, in the meantime, as she admits, "I'm stuck here ironing their fucking frills".
The best way to describe what House of Holes is about is if you were sitting in freshman Writing 101 class and your professor made you write 20 stories about headless women fucking Salvador Dali's iron-dog-lampshade-penises.
The Yorkshire town of Middlesbrough, once known for fucking smashing it in the iron and steel game, now has the highest rate of serious opioid use in Europe.
Furthermore, in 2016, Alba wrote on Iron March, "WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU [live] I FUCKING LIVE 20 MINUTES AWAY FROM THE TOWN OF WINDSOR, NOVA SCOTIA".
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com