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Yet, 12 years after my spiritual divorce, I found myself shivering on Main Street, repeating, "Lord, have mercy," even though the things I felt guilty about at that moment were things I no longer considered sinful, like forgetting Good Friday and loving a human husband.
Administrators roamed the halls, testing all the locked doors, and I found myself shivering when our doorknob rattled as we cowered in the dark room.
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So why did I find myself shivering in the sub-zero temperatures of suburban Manchester on Saturday morning, joining some eco-warriors from Reclaim the Power on their first action of 2016?
My last psychotropic moment of insight actually happened just a week ago, when I found myself simultaneously pissing, retching, hallucinating, crying, and shivering in some rancid bathroom.
A day and a half later, I found myself clutching a bag of wilting Majorcan foliage, shivering on the doorstep of a simple Danish row house at the edge of a winter-stripped beech forest.
But that's where I found myself on Saturday, wearing nothing but my own skin, painted blue, alongside 3,200 other like-minded people, shivering slightly in the dawn breeze.
I found myself laughing".
I found myself waving.
I found myself oddly optimistic.
"I found myself jobless, homeless".
I found myself Googling distractedly.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com