Here, for public use, is my very own template for a response to people who offer to let me write something for them for nothing: Thanks very much for your compliments on my [writing/illustration/whatever thing you do].
When you meet a pal who has shed a ton of weight (or "cleaned up her neck," as the plastic surgeons call it, or made any sort of cosmetic improvement) and you want to laud them for it, make your compliment general purpose.
If you think women are crazy for not accepting your compliments, you've never had the unique experience of being hit on by a man, then the same man threatening to kill you in the time it takes you to say, "no thanks".
Now all you have to do is sit back, relax, and wait for your friends to compliment your beautiful scent!
In your compliments, watch for telltale signs of comprehension and assumption that you are less of a threat such as crinkles in the corners of the eyes (a sign of a hidden smile), unclenching of fists, and shoulders becoming less tense and drooping slightly.
Instead, I will use the bully pulpit of this column to offer my profound thanks — not just for your good wishes and compliments (there's nothing like a compliment to bring a smile through one's sorrow), but for the lessons you've provided in how to express condolences most meaningfully to those left behind.
If you want to pick up compliments for your daring, pick Riva.
(Don't you hate when people qualify a compliment with "for your age?" What other three other words deliver as much punch to the gut as "for your age?").
This only proves to her that you were complimenting her for your own sake rather than hers.
Does she say things like "Do you think I look fat?" or "I think I look ugly" because more then likely she's not only looking for your opinion but phishing for compliments to see what you think of her. Figure out if she's joking around with you.
