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He was hooked the moment he heard Mood Indigo on his grandparents' wireless set at the age of five: "Something about it made my ears tingle".
Their figures varied but were all measured in millions, one enthusiastic chap claiming as many as five – something of a stretch given that Nairobi's entire population is only around three million.
That's because midway through writing point number five – something deep about intersectional fourth-wave feminism – I was struck by the biggest lesson of all: I have, in truth, learned absolutely nothing from Love Island.
One eight-year-old girl wrote to police three years after her rape to say: "When I was five something very bad happened and it was your job to make sure he was properly dealt with and punished.
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A year, or two, something like that.
"Somewhere between one and three — something that's manageable," Ms. Johnson said.
In the next decade or two, something else magnificent will happen.
"One in a hundred thousand, something like that?" he asks.
Yet through melding the two something revelatory occurred.
Or maybe play the odd weekend in three, something like that.
I assume they were installed when the house was built, a hundred something years ago.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com