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What kind of mind thinks it's okay to fart on your brother's head or run over the babysitter with your bicycle?
Cliche one: old fart on his last day with his Columbo-like niggles over an unsolved case (think: Robert Duvall in Falling Down) being hustled out of the station by that collective noun, a heartlessness of youth.
But that was before we all realised the influence Kraftwerk have had on just about every dance act of note in the last 15 years, and anyway, that lyric was far more profound than the one that goes "fart, fart, fart on the autobahn".
Pick one: you and the mother should decide yourselves, or some Old Fart on a Bench or Legislature should decide for you.
Did Mike Ditka fart on Monday Night Countdown?
A man did a fart on the telly.
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I'm also trying to dodge my daughter's fart-on-demand abilities.
"A duck farting on an ashtray," is one such interjection.
The misjudged promo moment where one subject is shown farting on his front porch has not, thankfully, made it to air.
But I can guarantee that on the off chance you get a total brain-fart on the Final Jeopardy after dominating the rest of the game and you become one of Jeopardy's infamous champions who drops down from the lead to $0 in Final Jeopardy and goes home with the consolation prize, you will feel a LOT worse than if you won the game but get ribbed for "not winning by enough".
Or farted on the autobahn.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com