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As a result, even women who say they're in egalitarian marriages may find themselves more stressed than their husbands, physically and mentally.
A survey of Harvard Business School graduates emphasizes the disconnect: More than half the men expected their careers to take precedence over their wives' careers, while most women expected egalitarian marriages.
Several people wrote to say some women may be retreating into old-fashioned ways because they see so many supposedly egalitarian marriages in which men do not pull their weight on the domestic end.
Just as we demystify the workplace for girls, let's demystify the home for boys, so that they can grow up into the men that they say they want to be: autonomous and capable of living on their own, and also involved family men, in egalitarian marriages and relationships, active and energetically engaged fathers, who use their domestic skills.
Even conservative couples who still believe a husband should be the head of the household have more egalitarian marriages than previous generations, and are less likely than their parents or grandparents to see things like domestic violence as a private matter or a normal part family life.
We have moved toward egalitarian marriages where woman are the legal equals of men -- a very nontraditional concept.
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They are levelheaded creative types in an egalitarian marriage that is upended by parenthood.
Is it possible to "opt out" of a lucrative career, enjoy an egalitarian marriage and then opt back in to the workplace when you're ready?
They can forgo marriage and children in order to meet the long work-hour demands, or they can marry and have children, and accept that an egalitarian marriage is nearly impossible given men's long work hours.
New York just doubled the percentage of Americans who live in states with more egalitarian marriage laws, to 11 percent; that percentage will double again if the California gay-marriage lawsuit prevails.
Yet you needn't doubt the appeal of an egalitarian marriage, good child care, and a job you love to wonder whether the new momism is necessarily the worst choice in the world for women who don't have those satisfactions.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com