And yet, there are laughs – speaking in rhyme, Andy Warhol pairs "Dimitri" with "eaterie"– and oddly affecting drama, as when junkie Dirk is jilted by Czech plumber Ivana.
34 Victoria Street Increasingly, when an eaterie pronounces its commitment to fairly traded, free-range, local, seasonal, organic ingredients, it means nothing.
In retrospect, the best thing you could have both done would have been to agree quickly on an eaterie that neither of you actively hated, rather than hold out for the perfect fit.
The good news is that just up the road, you can stop in at Twisters - an eaterie that resembles chicken restaurant Los Pollos Hermanos; perhaps you should just get your photo and stop in there instead.
There you can swap it, today only, for a free Sunday roast at the swanky eaterie, and your harvested fruit and veg will go into next week's menu.
With its neutral decor, wooden floors, red-topped tables and zinc bar, it's more like a small-town French bar than a pricey London eaterie.
Or a destination in its own right, a recommendable eaterie which happens to have an art gallery attached?
Is it that chap in Barcelona?" It took a while to discover that the world-beating Noma was a modest, stripped-down eaterie in the Christianshavn harbour district of Copenhagen, and that it apparently specialised in new-wave Scandinavian food, served on local rocks instead of plates, to be eaten with the fingers by the lucky patrons.
Sting might have waited most of his life to write the songs for The Last Ship but the cliché-ridden, predictable and depthless book makes one wonder if Logan and Yorkey penned the book over lunch at a swift in-and-out Manhattan eaterie, not a lengthy meal on Newcastle's Quayside.
5 Pollen Street 5 Pollen Street, London W1 (020-7629 1555) Stefano Cavallini's northern Italian fare at this new Mayfair eaterie includes champagne risotto and mushroom flan with black truffles.
