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The phrase "during his service" is grammatically correct and can be used in written English.
It can be used to indicate a specific time period in which someone has been serving or working. Example: During his service as a police officer, John received multiple commendations for his bravery and dedication to the community.
Exact(60)
In 1955, during his service, he married Sybil Sinclair, whom he had known in South Africa.
Mr. McGee earned three Distinguished Flying Crosses during his service in Vietnam.
He was a veteran of the Navy, and had used his photography skills during his service.
She said the contact probably occurred during his service in the Navy during World War II.
Parish councillors are reviewing whether they will lay their wreath during his service.
He has spent more than 20 years in the Balochistan and Frontier provinces in Pakistan during his service.
Mr. Gensler, who was awarded a Bronze Star during his service, said Mr. Hagel's "worries were very prescient".
In this session he discusses how music can help dying people to let go – and several have during his service.
I've even been visited by a young soldier who thanked me for keeping him sane during his service in Iraq.
Del Potro began moaning to the chair umpire, Fergus Murphy, about Fed fans yelling during his service motion.
Those connections, built during his service for the British government, were why he was valuable to Fusion GPS.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com