Without intervention, my life would spiral down into a mess of Doritos, Jaffa Cakes and bedsores until I drown in the depths of my own fleshy crevices at a tragically young age.
Friday nights would be spent in my rented room with a DVD and some Doritos.
Mobile phones were binned to cover their tracks and cash passed around in Doritos packets.
Frito-Lay, the convenience-foods arm of PepsiCo, is launching low-carb versions of its doritos and tostitos (sales of the full-carb versions are nearly $3 billion a year).This does not bode well for producers of high-carb products involving bread, cereal and pasta.
Down one flank of the site a shop sells toothbrushes, plastic footballs and Doritos.
That way, Frito-Lay (Doritos, Tostitos and Walkers) would no longer subsidise Pepsi, Gatorade (a sports drink) and Tropicana (a maker of fruit juice).In her former role as Pepsi's chief strategist, Ms Nooyi set the company on a healthier course even before becoming its boss, by engineering the takeovers of Tropicana and Quaker Oats, which makes breakfast cereals.
"You can't watch a game in a mancave without doing Doritos, Pepsi and Lay's," she said.Dr Yach left PepsiCo in October to lead a new think-tank at the Vitality Group, which runs health-incentive programmes.
It has been said of him that he "would collaborate with anyone for a bag of Doritos" (a kind of crisp).
There has been a hotchpotch of efforts to do this already, ranging from one in 1974 by Frank Drake, a pioneer of the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI), to an advertisement for Doritos, a snack food, that was beamed in the direction of a star in the constellation of Ursa Major in 2008.
One recent promotion aimed at videogamers paired a "limited edition gamer pack" of Doritos with Mountain Dew "game fuel .Mrs Nooyi hired "the best bankers and consultants" to consider the case for breaking up this happy union.
It can be a large bowl of Doritos and a jug of mojitos; which is stretching the term dinner party to its limits, I agree.
