It's almost worth trying it, just to see the look of sheer horror on the little darlings' faces when they unwrap that sticky, pointy thing and discover that, yes, you really have just wrapped up the garden sweepings.
Armed with a inquisitive look on his darling, little face, Philosotoddler questions the greatest mysteries of childhood, and he's not afraid to pose a few challenges about nursery rhymes, lunch time or even gender identification.
Union leaders predicted Mr Darling would face a "frosty" reception, while Mr Brown will face demands for public sector pay rises when he addresses the TUC's annual dinner in private this evening.
Mr Darling could face a backbench rebellion on graduated penalties for speeding.
"Miles Malpractice" ("Darling, your face - eau de Nil") seems closest to the mannerisms of Eddie GathornEddiedy.
Mr Darling will face hostile questions from delegates on the floor of the congress, while union leaders will send a blunt message to Mr Brown in private.
Nevertheless, Darling will face Tory allegations of dangerously deferring the necessary tough medicine when he reveals that he will not start to cut spending next year, instead sticking to published plans for 2010-11 to boost spending by £30bn to £700bn.
Pérez told me that on Hujar's print of his famous image "Candy Darling on Her Deathbed," from 1973, he used a pre-digital form of retouching called "spotting" to make sure that Darling's face "was the brightest moment in the image".
When Alistair Darling was faced with the hair-raising news in autumn 2008 that Royal Bank of Scotland and Halifax were on the brink of being forced to close their cash machines, there was never a serious doubt that, whatever Mervyn King's moral qualms, the Bank of England's job was to underpin the UK's financial system as "lender of last resort".
Although Alex Salmond repeatedly challenged David Cameron to a debate on Scotland's future, it was Mr Darling who faced the first minister in two televised encounters.
