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The most insulting card - to men - shows a pig lying in its own filth wearing a seraphic smile with the caption: "Euro 2004 footie was on the telly, the kids were out, the beer was chilled, Dad was as happy as a...".
The famous "Field of Dreams" quote, a movie Kaplan, 43, fondly remembers watching with his dad, was "as inspirational as it could get" for the senior vice president and "Overwatch" game director.
That's because my tough, athletic, military dad was as interested in girls playing as the boys.
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"I think Mom and Dad were as nervous as all get-out today, but I think they're happy to get all three of us in the race.
Seeing mom and dad is as simple as checking a train schedule.
The adults called him Dad, which was as confusing as it sounds.
You look across the ward and think, Am I like that?" My dad wasn't as dehydrated as my mum.
I joke with my kids, 'You know, Dad wasn't as big as Justin Bieber, but Dad was pretty big when he was 15!'".
Meanwhile, that inside shot of baby North lying naked on dad Kanye's chest was as dangerous as it looked.
On the other side of the spectrum, it might be that some over-zealous mums and dads are as tricky to handle.
The imaginary land of removed moms and dads is as far fetched as your plot concoctions.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com