He has a carrot sticking out of his left ear, a pretzel in his right ear, a stick of celery coming out of his left nostril, a piece of cucumber coming out of his right nostril, and a sausage firmly wedged in his bottom.
Cucumber, zucchini, tomatoes, radishes, bell peppers, carrots and lettuce are all between 91-96% water, with cucumber coming in first right behind lettuce.
Cucumbers come in a huge variety of shapes and sizes.
Those cucumbers came from two organic producers in Spain.
Cucumber soup comes with avocado and tomato.
Chilled cucumber soup comes tasting of ginger, mint and gin, with hints of pickled cantaloupe and smoked eel.
"You're supposed to pretend that you're really cool as a cucumber and stuff just comes to you, but I'm not really that type of person.
There are salutary deviations, such as an ahi-tuna burger, dressed with spicy harissa mayo, which tastes a little like a margarita, and a lamb-merguez burger, which comes with cucumbers and yogurt sauce and is agreeably funky.
Spartina's chopped salad comes with cucumbers, feta, chickpeas, olives and fresh mint, while soft-shell crabs are served Catalan-style on a bed of green seasonal vegetables garnished with confit tomato, Spanish ham and romesco sauce.
Among the dishes it's cake, soup and – intriguingly – cucumber soup, which come ahead of bread, curry, risotto and salad.
The banana chips (£3) snap deliciously and have reasonable flavour, and the baby cucumber wedges (£3) come with a tangy and fresh coriander, basil and chilli soup, as well as separate sprigs of coriander, mint and basil.
