The story, submitted by a freelance writer in rural Texas, tells how an elderly farmer and his two sons, Emilio and Carlos, rescue a cow stuck in a water hole.
His excitement began as soon as he donned his coveralls, pulled on his glove, lubed it with O.B. goo, and stepped up to the cow stuck in the chute.
"It was like doing a uterine test of a cow, sticking your arm in up to your shoulder," he says--and coming upon a bucket of flies swarming around the matured female flowers.
Though the report surely stirred up controversy and conversation in the industries involved, most consumers would have to search to find it buried beneath stories on Lawrence Taylor's arrest, and a cow stuck on a roof.
Matsuzaka cows become so accustomed to human attention and affection -- Mr. Kubo's cows stick their heads through the slats of their stalls and all but ask to be petted -- that they are led quite easily to the slaughterhouse, a trip that other, less coddled cattle vigorously resist.
Krishna is described as in digambar form, wearing makara-kundala, the srivatsa mark (described above), a head-dress of peacock feathers, resting his hands on his hips and keeping his cow-stick between his thighs.
"It's not like a goat or a cow you stick in your backyard," he said, his blue eyes squinting away the sun.
"If not sure of your courage with loose cows, carry stick".
In this rendition of barnyard telephone, events are spurred into motion when a cow gets stuck on a fence (by her rump; it's that kind of book).
"I took a great big piece of cow poop, stuck it on a platter, and set it off the table amongst all the moose turds.
