harmonyhall.com, cottages from $130 a night (three-night minimum) Nothing can quite prepare you for the shock of what lies behind a plain wooden gate at the end of a scruffy little track.
Little Palm Grove, a sister resort 50 metres away, is a more private affair compared with Palm Grove's family-friendly environment but both have beautifully furnished cottages, reflecting the gorgeousness outside.
Three- to six-night breaks covering the Valentine's Day weekend start from £216 per couple, through Classic Cottages (01326 555555; classic.co.uk) 13.
The wooden cottages have an almost alpine feel – with a bit of Caribbean gingerbread trim – and facilities include a laundry and a pool.
I'm a Chilham man myself; there's no more peaceful spot in the nation than this hilltop village's square, birdsong tooting, surrounded by black-and-white cottages, orchards and oasts.
His tastes are harder to pin down: seemingly willing to turn his hand to whatever his clients desire, he builds folksy cottages in the Chilterns with one hand, while erecting soaring glass totems in China with the other.
I floated silently past all kinds of amazing riverside homes – old manor houses, tiny cottages, boathouses and mysterious creeks, and ogled, like a particularly inquisitive fish, at the secret riches of waterside life.
The Land Registry shows the premises on Chart Hill Road are owned by John Robert Fowler, who bought the main property - a mock Tudor manor called The Oast House, in October 1991, a number of nearby cottages, outbuildings and several acres of land.
Head for the Highlands southwest of Fort William and hole up in one of the cosy cottages at Bluebell Croft, where they run a home-smoking course.
Dotted between the coconut palms are 38 rooms and suites in semi-detached cottages and two-storey units.
There are pools both ornamental and for swimming, and detached cottages with sandy paths to the beach.
