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What an unhappy compulsion you have to denigrate patriotism, honour and courage.
If you respond out of a compulsion, you haven't made an intentional choice.
This is the most painful aspect of loving someone in the throes of a compulsion — you have to recognize that you can't rescue him.
That's the compulsion you'll have for the first few dozen holes you play, but once you get into the higher numbers you realize that it's better to just get into the flow of it and find creative solutions (like bouncing off of angled sand banks).
In fact, these people may be very bad for you (or your children), but nevertheless you may be drawn to them out of an unconscious compulsion you aren't even aware.
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This is your 20s, after all; mistakes and compulsions you hope don't become identities.
If you do have a real compulsion that you absolutely cannot overcome, you might want to consider if it's based in an actual health problem.
In a case like this there should be an element of compulsion: if you receive blood then you, or a family member make a donation "repayment".
I remember when I was trying to get somewhere with my music and I thought, "Imagine being like Bjork where you don't have to pay your rent anymore, and you can do what you want and just follow whatever compulsion hits you".
And when she informs her husband that she suffers from a "repetition compulsion complex," you wonder why she needs the "shrink" he's so desperate for her to visit.
When your intent fades into compulsion and you habitually sink into an abyss of self doubt and need to be "better" without seeing where "better" is for yourself then you must must must recognize at least that and seek help.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com