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Gather your nearest and dearest for cake and carpet slippers?
Bake a red carpet cake with edible movie decorations (if you're a really skilled cake baker) and then watch a movie about cakes.
Why? Everyone knows that small children just pick the sweets off the top and tread the cake into the carpet.
The cakes go everywhere; the carpet is carnage.
Apply the double-sided carpet tape to the cake dummy and hold in place on top of the cake board.
Who dreamt up a world in which we wake up, put deodorant on and then stand next to lots of people on trains who forgot to put deodorant on, to then go and sit in an office with grey walls and blue carpets and a cake trolley that rolls round once a fortnight and loud printers and an overwhelming atmosphere that combines frustration with anger and annoyance and deep, deep disappointment?
Forget the cake, the champagne and the red carpet: "The Good Wife" celebrated 100 episodes a little differently.
The chairs on the tables stuck their legs into the air; the scatters of cake crumbs underneath waited passive in the carpet for the vacuum cleaner nozzle.
Recently, the Macon Telegraph observed, "Of all the grand entrances popping out of a cake, dropping by in a parachute, red-carpet arrival nothing says 'Here I am!' like a cannonball".
"They sold like hot cakes," said Mr. Azizullah Khan, sitting cross-legged on the carpet in Mr. Saeed's shop.
While plenty of publications, including the New York Times, have written about her performance in "Cake," headlines are more often something like "Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie Avoid Red Carpet Run-In".
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com