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I've got a large bucket of shit lying on my desk and tomorrow morning I'm going to pour it all over your head".
"Actually," Mr MacKenzie replied, "I have a bucket of shit on my desk, prime minister, and I'm going to pour it all over you".
Once, we were all waiting to watch him in committee and he passed by us with the words, "Come to pour another bucket of shit over Parliament, have you?" So here we have the only magnanimous thing he's done in a decade – accepted a peerage which makes him look ridiculous in order to please his wife, Lady Prescott.
If the plot doesn't sound amazing enough on it's own, it's being directed by Paul Verhoeven (of Showgirls and that movie where the woman gets a bucket of shit poured over her head fame) based on a screenplay written by David Loughery (of that movie where Beyonce sends people threatening emoticons fame).
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Unconcerned, Flaubert remarked that "I would not like to die before having emptied a few more buckets of shit on the heads of my fellow men".
"For many years now," he said, "we have been pouring buckets of shit on each other's heads, and our propaganda boys could not do enough in that direction.
On the morning of 9 March, Maxwele travelled by minibus taxi out to Khayelitsha, picked up one of the buckets of shit that sat reeking on the kerbside, and brought it back to the campus of the University of Cape Town (UCT), where, in 2011, he had gained a scholarship to study political science.
Ashdown, who appeared at the festival to talk about LBC's Call Clegg programme with its host, Nick Ferrari, said the real Clegg was the opposite of the public's perception of the deputy prime minister, blaming the right wing press for "dumping 23 buckets of shit over him every month".
And to those who wish to get through the fire, water, brass pipes and buckets of shit in this life and not break down, I advise watching a very difficult but powerful film: The Shawshank Redemption.
Rows of the damned having buckets of molten shit poured over their heads by someone who looks a bit like Kelvin MacKenzie, for eternity.
I had a great time building and launching menshn, despite the mountain-sized buckets of cyber-shit I got for my association with Louise.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com