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Because the bridge sure ain't being what it's supposed to be.
Walk across the Harbour Bridge: Sure, it's not climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge, but the view is impressive nonetheless.
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I went walking — or, rather, reading — across the Williamsburg, Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges, sure they would contain guardrails decorated with secret sonnets, crossbeams scratched with couplets and walkways singing with sestinas.
I went up to the bridge and, sure enough, we were trapped amid several large ice floes.
The three take the Long Island Expressway to the 59th Street Bridge, being sure to pass through Columbus Circle before it is closed to traffic at 5 30 a.m.
Then cross the nearby Union Street Bridge — make sure the drawbridge isn't up — and take a gander at the greenish water of the Gowanus, and the long, snaking pipe that flushes out the canal.
A purportedly major policy announcement - though given to the media and in speeches to invited audiences, rather than to parliament, so maybe it isn't - on a flagship policy, finds the captain neither on the bridge, nor sure which waters he is in.
If needed, have a person spot your back when falling into bridge(make sure this person has experience in spotting).
Do a pike, straddle(left, right, center), butter fly, bridge (make sure to push through your shoulders), Splits (left, Right, Center).
If you are building bridges, make sure they are strong enough for the task you will be using the trail for.
If you cross along the south side of Bridge Street, be sure to look back over your left shoulder at the stain on the riverside brick building.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com