"I guess I won't be getting my money back," one customer – who had bought a course of sun bed sessions – says.
(Allen himself is a stranger to the press junket - and it shows, because in his film such encounters end rather extravagantly, with blow-jobs and impromptu four-in-a-bed sessions).
He is now looking forward to going home, getting back to work and having access to Hollister, 14-minute sun-bed sessions and a proper barber.
Farther away, the three-night Mother Earth package at the Puntacana Resort & Club in the Dominican Republic (809-959-2262; www.puntacana.com) at both its Tortuga Bay villas (from $2,840) and its hotel (from $1,195) includes airport transfers, a welcome drink, organic breakfast in bed, yoga sessions, a steam bath, a body scrub, a hot-stone massage and a facial.
Finally after a charged bed-buying session, with Yeats describing "an embarrassed conversation upon the width", and his nervousness preventing them at first from becoming lovers, he eventually wrote in January 1896, "at last she came to me in my thirtieth year .... and we had many days of happiness".
A sheet pulled up to his chest, he was wheeled into the defendants cage on a hospital bed at the session's start.
If you want to get a tan, plan regular visits to a tanning bed or regular sessions in the backyard.
After each test session, the bed of fine sawdust was removed and replaced by clean sawdust bedding.
"It's not me, is it Bill?" one asks after a disappointing session in bed.
