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My son surprised me, because I presumed he was still Santa-obsessed.
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Then there are the queues at the gate; the scrum for seats; the fight for overhead baggage space; the unforgiving seats in dazzling yellow and blue; the flight attendant miserably selling lottery tickets; and the dash across the airport tarmac in heavy rain to reach the terminal because, I presume, Ryanair won't pay for one of those arm things that connect you directly into the building.
Once the rooms that guests would conceivably see were finished, they organised a housewarming party and invited a load of people over, including a couple of business-type people who I presumed were important because my dad seemed very keen to impress them. .
Because he has had so many games for Northern Ireland, I presumed he had had some sort of experience before.
I presumed incorrectly.
A sensory error, I presumed.
I presumed he'd soon be back.
I presumed I'd be riding behind a brawny, big-hearted guy... because that's what Santa is, right?
I presumed they'd send some cunt".
I presumed the door was locked.
I presumed I was pouring coffee.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com