So at least you are not part of that if you're going bald and grey and deaf.
I don't think it is noticeable, but it scares me that someone may spot a bald patch soon.
You'll spend three nights in the historic mining town of McCarthy, surrounded by glaciers and 4,000m peaks, and cruise across Prince William Sound, a stunning glacial landscape that is home to orcas, seals and bald eagles.
The bald summit gives views stretching from the very English Cotswolds to the very Welsh Black Mountains, endless quiet miles of pastoral patchwork between them.
That's a bold statement, but the bald stats back it up: Alistair, the reigning world champion, has won 12 of the 15 world series races he has entered since 2009, while Jonny, the No2 in the world, has finished in the top three in his last 13 races at elite level – winning six of them.
I am not a Christian, and didn't really want to suggest dog heaven (or human heaven, for that matter), but I didn't trust myself to find the solid middle ground between bald fact and emotional comfort.
It's a wonder she has time to come up with these one-liners now she's busy polishing Tony's bald head in the back of Barlow's Buys.
The US has the bald eagle, India the peacock, Israel the hoopoe, Luxembourg the tiny goldcrest and Bermuda – somewhat predictably – the Bermuda petrel.
If the sight of Van's bald patch is somewhat unnerving, Cliff's outfit is that much more so.
Atkinson will play the Svengali Brian Epstein-esque manager Edmund Blackadder, and as usual will be joined by Tony Robinson, this time as the band's bald drummer, Rick.
It's a series about conspiracies and cover-ups and the bald denial of science.
