Animals are also a recurring item throughout the album; in "Maisie", bulls are mentioned ("Bad luck, bride of a bull").
A withering email to a "bad mannered" bride-to-be from her future mother-in-law has gone viral, prompting comparison between its author and the sitcom snob Hyacinth Bucket.
"I was really guarded after my two bad marriages," the bride said.
"I had only moments earlier sworn off dating, based on a couple of recent bad experiences," the bride remembered.
It is discouraging, to say the least, to see wedding websites contribute to the bad information that brides receive on a daily basis.
Nor is it as bad as the Connecticut bride who assaulted the caterer for closing down the bar, screamed "I hate you" at her husband and threw her cake at the wall.
Jordan has yet to deliver the bad news to the bride and groom, who are currently on their honeymoon.
There's bad blood between the bride's mother (Charlotte Rampling) and father (John Hurt), who shows up with two rather coarse-looking tarts in tow.
