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"It's as if planes landed on the Champs Elysées," he quips.
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It's as if the planes, trains, cars, houses, and hotels are all part of a passing show that's happening "out there" somewhere.
Hamza al-Khatib, the director of a hospital in the rebel-held east, told Reuters the death toll was 45. "It's as if the planes are trying to compensate for all the days they didn't drop bombs" during the ceasefire, Ammar al-Selmo, the head of the civil defense rescue service in opposition-held eastern Aleppo told Reuters.
What if planes were just as safe to fly in?
"The noise I heard was long, like eight seconds, as if the plane was going more slowly than military plane speed.
"The noise I heard was long - like 8 seconds - as if the plane was going more slowly than a military plane.
A few minutes after the plane is in the air, the pilot begins doing stunts that make it appear as if the plane is crashing.
It is as if the plane hasn't moved.
He then proceeded to mock Jets receiver Santonio Holmes' habit of acting like an airplane after a score before throwing himself to the ground as if the plane crashed.
And then, in an instant of imaginary silence, as if the plane's engines had died, he heard her cry, a cry as from the end of the world.
A passenger said on Monday that it sounded as if the plane had "hit a brick wall" upon landing, as cellphones and handbags sailed through the cabin amid screams.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com