I was a young journalist; I didn't get on to the newsdesk for three or four years, until the retirement in the early 70s of the news editor, fondly known as "the bosun", whose favoured maxim was "My arse is a teacake".
"But you aren't suddenly going to show your arse.
Well, now that you mention it, if you study the footage of the 1987 tour of Japan contained here, you get plenty of chance to have a good look, 'cos Pete does love to flash his arse at the crowd.
The footage and fall-out have been raked to within an inch of their lives for clues as to the cause of the disagreement, the front-running theory so far being that Jay Z wanted to go to Rihanna's after party (Rihanna of all people! My dear) and that Solange piled in on her sister's behalf, all the better to persuade him to get his sorry arse home.
There was also the argument that 'RLJs are just PITA to petrolheads' (red-light jumpers are merely a pain in the arse to drivers), who are, after all, responsible for 3,500 deaths a year - compared with cyclists' annual tally of none whatsoever.
Fame has become, 'Look at me, I'm getting my photo taken with another famous person' or, 'I'm selling records because I'm dancing with my arse out next to a pervy old man in a suit at a massive awards ceremony.' People have forgotten about the music.
"In the winter it was a pain in the arse because we were always having to top up.
Do they think they haven't got the capacity?" Maybe, I say, people just think you're a pain in the arse.
He is said to have told them: "Kiss my arse".
No, not the report from Valencia newspaper Provincias, who got hold of a full list of the first-team salaries and published them for the world to see (Ricardo Costa was the top earner on €3.7m a year, in case you're wondering), but the Getafe fan who provoked Diego Costa into missing a penalty … by flashing his arse at him.
Frankly, driving it is a pain in the arse".
