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The phrase "are particularly severe when" is correct and usable in written English.
It can be used to describe situations or conditions that become more intense or serious under specific circumstances.
Example: "The consequences of neglecting safety protocols are particularly severe when working in hazardous environments."
Alternatives: "are especially harsh when" or "are notably serious when".
Exact(3)
However, agency theory predicts a lower firm value for firms hoarding excess cash since agency conflicts are particularly severe when firms possess substantial free cash flow (Jensen 1986).
The demonstrated problems associated with BWS are particularly severe when individual's preferences are not homothetic (introducing within-individual heterogeneity) and if preferences between individuals are heterogeneous.
It is important to bear in mind that the confounding effects imposed by the relative nature of fertilization success are particularly severe when sperm competitive ability for the individual is the parameter with relevance for inferring post-copulatory processes.
Similar(57)
Koolhaas's comments are often withering, and he is particularly severe when a design element seems arbitrary.
The consequences can be particularly severe when people binge drink, a drinking pattern adopted by 44percentt of college students, national surveys have shown.
This limitation is particularly severe when assessing public policies.
The cost is particularly severe when the comparisons are done by structural overlay, when considering the additional step of determining an optimal 3D overlay.
We expect that the adverse impact of ATPs on acquisition performance is particularly severe when public pension funds are not present.
We predict that the adverse impact of ATPs on acquisition performance is particularly severe when public pension fund monitoring is weak.
Latency is a measure of the time required for decoding and its value is normally subjected to restrictions, which are expected to be particularly severe when the TC link is used in emergency conditions.
The impact can be particularly severe when lighter OSD materials such as carbonaceous (black) shale (SG ~ 1.8) associated with No. 6 coal seam in Illinois or similar lithologies are encountered.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com