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"I annoyed myself and it wasn't working any more… I thought, 'This is not me, this is horrible.' "I would have long times – months – of sobriety and then say, 'I've got it, I can have a drink now, I can have a drug now' and it would all explode and go terribly wrong… I'm still learning from my mistakes and I'm determined I'll never do anything stupid like that again".
Anyway, I suppose my awareness of my friends' certain discomfort made it almost impossible for me to let myself "go" properly, which I was annoyed myself about but chose to blame it on weak MDMA.
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Then in 2009, I was on the Turner jury: I didn't annoy myself at all.
I mean, I spent a good portion of my waking life looking for things to actively annoy myself so I thought that maybe, by some process of self-defeating osmosis, that I might have sucked in a few of the bigger tropical acts.
I am proud, but I'm annoyed with myself for not believing in myself enough".
People said 'Did you know Sanya [Richards] had gone off very hard?' but she was in lane seven and I couldn't see her. "All I had to work off was the Russian girl outside me who I knew would go off very hard, and at 200 metres I was annoyed with myself that I had left myself too much work".
Annoyed at myself.
I was so annoyed with myself.
I was surprised, then annoyed with myself.
Annoyed with myself, I start to panic.
I get really annoyed with myself.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
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