The phrase "and when he concluded" is correct and usable in written English.
It can be used to indicate the moment someone finishes speaking or presenting their thoughts, often leading to a subsequent action or statement.
Example: "He shared his findings with the team, and when he concluded, everyone applauded his efforts."
Alternatives: "and after he finished" or "and once he wrapped up".
And when he concluded without talking to his sister that she must be pregnant, she asked the kind of question that gives Dr. Brown's book its oddball edge.
Chamberlain spoke in the Commons for two and a half hours on the second reading of the Bill, and when he concluded he was applauded by all parties.
The crowd applauded three times: when Paul took the podium, when he talked about repealing the sentence requirement, and when he concluded his speech.
Bay said he saw several doctors between last July and January, when he concluded the deal with the Mets, and he said that all but the Red Sox doctors confirmed that his knees and shoulder were healthy.
He drew cheers and laughter when he concluded his talk by saying, "Is this a shortcut to fusion energy?
The president — showing energy reminiscent of his campaign rallies — brought the workers at both plants to their feet, applauding and cheering, when he concluded: "Don't bet against the American worker.
Curiously, while describing in great detail Bush's strategy for the interview and his rage when he concluded that he had been ambushed, the authors did not exploit their privileged positions at the network to find out for us what the strategy of Rather and his handlers was.
Ken Weiss emphasized this in a discussion of the importance of niche construction and behavior-driven evolution when he concluded that "local divergence can be achieved by behavioral sorting by which organisms find or modify local niches according to their abilities, but this need not involve fitness differences nor even be based on genetic inheritance" (Weiss 2004, p. 203).
When he concluded and descended from the platform he was at once besieged by delegates from Ohio and other States, who congratulated him.
Though Mr. Itzkoff's desire for a neat ending to the story that has occupied him for so many years is understandable, the new book's triumphant finality is less convincing than the uncertainty he expressed five and a half years ago when he concluded his magazine article.
He was passionately engaged with cultural and intellectual history; unusually, the students applauded when he concluded the final lecture in his first series at Princeton.
