Poorer adjustment and a socially unskillful behavioral profile were found to be associated with these three behaviors.
1) "I'm sorry": speaking our apology and taking responsibility for any harm we caused, any unskillful behavior or meanness.
For 2017, I'd invite you to consider letting go of "shame resilience" and even letting go of "self-compassion". Yes, I feel we need to be compassionate towards ourselves and others for any unskillful acts that inadvertently, unwittingly, or even "when we know better," do cause harm.
Recall a time someone mistreated you, let you down, dropped the ball, made an error, spoke harshly, was unskillful, got a fact wrong, or affected you negatively even if that was not their intention.
I learned that when you're recovering from a pattern of withholding, you're probably going to have to go through a period of unskillful venting before the pendulum can swing back to a middle ground of respectful honesty.
Wolfe's finished manuscript was rejected by several editors because it "was so amateurish, autobiographical and unskillful," he wrote in "The Story of a Novel," an essay.
Many unskillful leaders want to think that a team runs itself and that members should have their own ethic and should work together, but this is seldom the case.
We can always have an understanding that compassion will be necessary for our inevitable unskillful actions, meaning, when we've hurt someone or ourselves, despite "knowing better" or not wanting to have inflicted or have had the intention of causing pain.
A regular attack or defense, therefore, is not to be expected from such a people, and their soldiers must be as ignorant and unskillful as their farmers and manufacturers.
Sometimes unskillful or harmful intentions (such as thinking about a thought that makes you depressed, worried or angry) can be pretty strong intentions, so it needs a gentle, compassionate but equally more dedicated and stronger intention to be both kind to yourself and to enable you to let go of the stressful thoughts or feelings.
