But after that, after he'd been gone for a while and there was no Carl anymore to talk to and listen to his side of things and help him when he was afraid, I felt real bad about things.
It didn't take me quite as long but, upon finishing the book, I'm afraid I felt rather like Haddon on his return from the 1898 expedition: "I can scarcely express how relieved I am after nine weeks meandering".
Yet, despite its merits in capturing authentic familial situations and the visions of our pasts that remain imprinted in our minds and memories, I'm afraid I felt my traction with the emotional side of the narrative begin to slip a bit as I read on.
Now, I'm afraid, mortally afraid, I feel it, that if the book were to be published as it is in its present edited form, I may never write another story, that's how closely, God Forbid, some of those stories are to my sense of regaining my health and mental well-being.... Please help me with this, Gordon.
Lately I've been thinking that this understanding might be a better one with which to approach the world, and instead of being afraid, I feel comforted, knocked down from something high and cold into a place that's more base and illogical but also more alive: In Paradise there is nothing to say … Now we have shame and pain and knowledge of death and whatnot, but at least we can talk about it.
I wouldn't want to hoist the dregs of my sauvignon blanc to honour these folk, with their own moaning about modern architecture and the threat from space aliens – and I'm afraid I feel rather the same about our future king.
I'm afraid I feel much the same way about the sprawling "Made in L.A. 2012" show as I did about this year's Whitney Biennial in New York: unqualified to offer particularly useful or informed commentary.
I'm afraid, mortally afraid, I feel it, that if the book were to be published as it is in its present edited form, I may never write another story, that's how closely, God Forbid, some of those stories are to my sense of regaining my health and mental well-being.
I was so afraid, and I felt really persecuted.
When I saw that he was afraid of me, I felt powerful.
I was afraid that if I felt my grief, my grief would consume me, because my grief felt that enormous.
