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The phrase "a severe version of" is correct and usable in written English
It can be used to describe a more intense or extreme form of something, often in a comparative context. Example: "The new policy is a severe version of the previous regulations, imposing stricter penalties for non-compliance."
Exact(11)
Maladaptive pain — and R.S.D. is a severe version of it — is essentially a neurological disease.
He hastily pushed through laws that imposed a severe version of Sharia on Sudan, including its Christian and animist south.
The fighting in Arab Jabour also had the effect of displacing some insurgents to the west, including militants who imposed a severe version of Islamic law and who used the region as a transit point for sneaking explosives into Baghdad.
Some babies born with a severe version of the disease do not live for more than fortnight because their bodies cannot derive energy from fat by normal methods when their sugar stores run out.
"Their childhoods were robbed of them because of asthma," said Ms. Sanchez, 40, who suffers from a severe version of the disease, along with Leonardo, 8, Olivia, 11, and Ruben, 16.
Interestingly, what we're seeing her is a severe version of a Kiosk Linux implementation.
Similar(49)
The simplest method to specify the adverse scenario is to develop a less severe version of the severely adverse scenario.
A priori, specifying the adverse scenario in this way may appear unlikely to provide the greatest possible informational value to supervisors - given that it is just a less severe version of the severely adverse scenario.
Nevertheless, part of him feared that all he had done was create a rather severe version of "The Sullivans," a television soap opera about a typical Aussie family after the war.
In 2007, she played a more sinister version of herself, in "Boarding Gate," a film by the French director Olivier Assayas, and a more severe version of herself, in "I'm Not There," a film by the indie director Todd Haynes.
Several groups began to impose a more severe version of Islam on the tolerant culture of the valley: women were made to wear veils, and bars and beauty parlors were closed down.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com