Take south London dubstep MC Sgt Pokes, who recently likened Kito's music to a "magical journey into an enchanted forest made of jam and ice-cream that has grown on the back of an enormous cow deep in the heart of the invisible Burmese mountains".
Given huge portions of bread and potatoes, both legs of the chicken, puddings made of jam and suet served with lashings of custard and double cream, and then, if our mothers still weren't satisfied with how much we'd eaten, both breasts of a second chicken.
The canning part is why it took me years to make a batch of jam, what with all that equipment and the measures you take to sterilize it.
It's also worth making a pot of jam or two.
It might not be the first thing that comes to mind when deciding what to do with your weekend, but I can think of worse ways to spend a Saturday afternoon than making a vat of jam.
When the time came for my thigh to be bandaged, I became a laughingstock for the following reason: the gas-mask case, which was still attached to me, had been slit open by a finger-length grenade splinter and the contents had gushed out and made a mess of jam in my pants.
I've made a lot of jam comics and finding good partners is tricky.
Mary Berry's Charlotte Royale is made of jam-filled Swiss roll with a set egg custard flavoured with raspberries, strawberries and raspberry liqueur.
At a news conference with the Russian president, he pulled out a chocolate bar and a bottle of jam made of bananas, and suggested that Russians might like to try those Venezuelan products.
In one illustration, a disembodied head with biscuits for hair and a fringe made of a jar of jam sits on a platter alongside a large cube of blue cheese, the sides of which show a crowd in front of a mountain.
