But I heard it — my billowing valve, my flapping leaflet — and I was transfixed.
"I'm here to have my flaps done," she said, meaning an operation to tighten her upper arms.
When I got near the ground, I put my flaps down, but only one flap went down, which was disastrous, because the aircraft slewed all over the place.
And I'm definitely not about to undress in front of a bunch of strangers and show off my flap-jack boobs or cottage cheese thighs.
With traffic behind me and no spots to stop, I tried my best to keep my flapping jacket together, as I worked my way down the mountain road.
"I do not need Eric looking at my flapping neck from Woman-On-Top at nine in the morning, which is the only time we can have sex because our kids with bionic hearing are finally at school! "And when I see him naked coming out of the shower he reminds me of one of the characters in Where The Wild Things Are.
My flapping father says he's calling me a car to take me home (he never did – thanks, dad), the front douchebag walks away still grumbling about his cantaloupe, the one with the brush leaves, and it's just me and my cracked out fave.
Why am I running around my apartment flapping my arms in a caffeine-induced frenzy when things aren't going as planned?
To this day, the scar tissue created by my TRAM flap surgery causes discomfort in my abdomen.
When I'm around men, I don't think about my dick, unless it wriggles out of my boxer flap, as it sometimes does, and touches a cold button of my jeans' fly, and then I'm like "Get back in your cubby, you little rascal!" and nonchalantly adjust myself.
