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"Look, I'm 56 years old and I was working my bollocks off up there.
"Fair my bollocks," says one commentator.
I'll tell you what is for me, though: laughing my bollocks off at this guy whispering about Skittles.
This was to ensure that I hadn't hidden any more half pills up my arse or behind my bollocks (though, knowing me, I'd have just fucking told them about it anyway, right?).
Similar(56)
In comes Rebecca Front's new minister Nicola Murray Tuckerr: "the only other candidate was my left bollock with a smiley face drawn on it").
But Paul, my agent, said: 'Bollocks.
At school they loved the idea of smacking the ball hard as they could at my head or bollocks – anywhere really that would cause significant pain.
Ah, yes, to Greenland-ise that old classic of the American Wild West: Home, home on the range, Where the seal and the polar bear play, Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, And my bi-polar bollocks freeze away.
Her many memorable moments include preparing coq au vin with a sword (at posh boy JP's family home) and a lecture-hall monologue about Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children ("I feel like I've got this pompous, fat, naked man sitting on my face, and he's resting his big, overrated bollocks on my airways").
In front of the elders I loudly proclaimed: "Stop it or I'll chop your bollocks off!" My Stern Imam Father gave me his trademark glare, my cousins all laughed and my uncles all looked confused.
Bollocks, is my reply.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com