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What I'll be served is tourist blues: a tinsel-tasting soup of theme park clubs and drama students playing at being Muddy Waters.
But so widespread is tourist anxiety about eating in Japan (every westerner I meet seems to fret about how to hold chopsticks) that you could be forgiven for taking it seriously – at least until it adds, "Because some menu items are illegal, you will only discover them when you ask", before flashing up images of giant pandas and other protected species.
"This is tourist stuff.
Most of what we read as travel writing is tourist writing.
Le Petit Marcel (23) at 65 rue Rambateau is tourist central, but good value: two courses start at €14.60, and include rabbit terrine with Calvados plus tartare classique.
Godard makes no attempt to startle us with grunge; surprisingly, this is tourist Paris: the Arc de Triomphe, the Champs-Elysees.
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I also learnt "beautiful soul" is tourist-speak for person who is poor but smiley.
The timing, though, is curious: although Sultanahmet is tourist-central, visitor numbers on a Tuesday in the second week of January are as low as they ever get.
Unlike Venice, it is tourist-tolerant rather than tourist-trampled; it knows very well what it can take, how strong it is, how much give it has.
The city is tourist-friendly but also one of the strongholds of the Salafi group.
It is tourist-heavy.
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Since I tried Ludwig back in 2017, I have been constantly using it in both editing and translation. Ever since, I suggest it to my translators at ProSciEditing.

Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com