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The issue isn't with the 22-inch length because there are plenty of those available; where they fall "short" is exactly where I got nabbed: in the 14-inch width.
It was good that time I got nabbed for drinking a beer underage (just kidding, that was a different family member), but bad when every, and I mean every, conversation my family has around the dinner table touches it somehow -- cue my narcolepsy, face in pavlova.
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"If I keep the pencil, will I get nabbed for stealing?" I asked one of the administrators.
I hope in the next few years that G4S and companies like it get nabbed tagging wooden legs, gravestones or something equally daft: the sooner we get over the ridiculous notion that the private sector is the best answer to reforming public services the better.
After being awake in my cell for a few hours observing the graffiti (seriously, how are they doing that? Are they using their nails to carve tags into the window frames? Why?), I was told that, to speed up my processing, I was being transferred to an East London police station, because that's where I originally got nabbed.
"I too got nabbed a few times by the banks strategies," Lawton wrote in an email.
I made the following insufferable yet relevant retort: "Hey, remember when that gay Republican congressman got nabbed trying to pick up interns via IM, and Fox kept calling him a Democrat?" Soon, I found myself in several arguments during which I countered anecdotal evidence of anti-Republican perfidy with anecdotal evidence of Republican perfidy.
"We got nabbed in Edinburgh," he says.
(For a primer on legal and illegal travel, plus a cautionary tale about one gringo who got nabbed, visit Forbes.com/extra).
He then jetted to his home country of Iran, got nabbed in central Europe, and was extradited.
I think I've observed a fairly consistent phenomenon with the religious jailhouse types in which the individual earnestly yearns to be rehabilitated from whatever detrimental behavior he got nabbed for.
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Justyna Jupowicz-Kozak
CEO of Professional Science Editing for Scientists @ prosciediting.com